First, Id like to say currently I am single because currently I kind of suck at being a human. It is easy to call someone else out for things that manifest within oneself, especially if you are honest enough to admit that you are not perfect. Ive been scrolling social media as the summer has gotten comfortable here in Connecticut, and boy is the thirst real out there. Ive always been a relationship kind of person so I certainly understand the desperation some have to be "with someone". I get it, who wants to be alone when you do not have to be? Their is someone for everyone however most of us; myself included are single because of us. We suck! The difference between myself and many others is I can admit that I am not that great of a person and because of that I just may be contributing to the non-sense that is the shit show I call life. I am moody, sometimes I do not feel like being bothered other times I like nothing but all of your attention. I am lazy, I do not want to do much unless I am convinced it is worth me leaving my comfort place. I am a true introvert like that, I do not require social connection as much as I recognize its importance. I can be demanding and at time harsh if my feelings are hurt. I am young minded in many ways, I am very intelligent and know many things, a lot more than my peers and because of this I find myself talking in a tone that offends people that are not used to my personality. The other side of me is incredibly loving, affectionate and loyal. I will provide financially as well as mentally. I am always available physically for my spouse even if it at that time id rather not be. I can be very passive for the sake of argument and in some cases can be an over communicator. I struggle with energy and vibes and I always require intentions and very specific details on what a persons intentions are when they are communicating with me. I like to decide at what magnitude shall I be present in the life of someone. I say all of that to say this, It has taken years of horrible relationship choices and even worse life choices that has finally directed me to a place of reflection and growth. I started going to therapy and getting deeper into my bible and religion. I started realizing my purpose and working harder at my goals and woke up one day and realized I didn't want a relationship as much as I thought I did. I started to say to myself more than a woman to hold I want to be happy. I want to feel fulfilled within myself; I am a human, I get lonely, I crave a physical connection like the next person. However I have elevated into a space where being single is not nearly as bad as being in a bad relationship. I wake up everyday and do exactly what I want to without worrying about anything that I am not required to. I eat what I want when I want without having to consider if another person would like to have the same thing. I can watch whatever I want including hours of youtube documentaries and never do I have to fake pretend to be interested in Little women of Atlanta. All of these things may seem selfish but how come they cannot just be triggers to my happiness? I deserve to live the kind of life that I prefer regardless to how it may make someone else feel, and because of that I remain single. Finding the right person that does not disturb but instead enhance your happiness is difficult that is why we are only promised one soul mate. We should not have to over compromise ourselves to attach ourselves to someone whom clearly does not like the real version of us. Truth is, many of you reading this suck at being a human. You assume you know exactly what it is you need from the universe. You walk around swiping left and right on people based on nothing deeper than physical attributes. You spend no time looking at yourself so that you can heal yourself rather you place blame on others for the things that you allow to happen to you. Many of you are so busy judging other people that you are missing what that person may have to offer you and a few more of you are so thirsty for a relationship you stopped paying attention to yourself a long time ago. Ladies, why not spend some time getting your mental health together? Your finances together? Your life together? Why should someone have to take you as you are when doing so would be taking a burden? A lot of you do not work, some of you have three and four children. A lot of you are constantly in the mix trying to be seen and then wonder why nobody of substance and prominence shows you any interest? Same with some of the males that may be reading this. Many of them have very little to offer beyond sex or money however expect way more than they could ever provide. If you had to be in a relationship with yourself would you want yourself? If you had to date the version of you that only you are familiar with would you be satisfied? Would you date you? This blog is all about single people cutting the bullshit lies and games and acknowledging simple facts, being single isn't a punishment it is a time for growth and development in one self. Stop trying to force people into friendships with you when you really want to try them on as a spouse. Stop abusing the word friendship because you acknowledge you lack the correct tools to actually commit and be in a real relationship. Stop trying to manipulate the way others interact with you because you do not understand the importance of vibes and energy, all you know is what you have been through and what you are afraid to feel again. Listen baby you are not in control and the quicker you realize that the better off you will be. The bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. Let that settle in, "A good thing". A Good thing cannot be manufactured, it will always be organic and authentic if it is real. Stop begging for attention and realize the attention you deserve is sent to you when your energy attracts it. What we get is an example of what we work for and what we have is an example of what we have manifested. Being in a relationship will never be more important than being a good person or being your true authentic self. Being in a relationship will never be worth your self worth and personal happiness. If we focused on being good people we would find ourselves worried less about who wants to be with us.
1 Comment
Natasha N Adams
7/2/2019 05:55:07 pm
That was really good.😊
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